英語(yǔ)幽默故事①

　　Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."

　　“孩子，你為什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了嗎?”

　　“沒(méi)有，老師�？墒悄阕蛱煺f(shuō)你告訴我的知識(shí)都是一個(gè)耳朵里進(jìn)，一個(gè)耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”

　　“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”

　　“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”

　　“Yes，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”

　　“對(duì)不起，夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”

　　“20美元!為什么?不是說(shuō)好只要4美元。”

　　“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個(gè)病人嚇跑了。”

　　英語(yǔ)幽默故事②

　　Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example?

　　John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.

　　老師：我們都知道熱脹冷縮的道理�，F(xiàn)在，誰(shuí)給我舉個(gè)例子?

　　約翰：嗯，在夏天天都長(zhǎng)，在冬天天都短。

　　The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?"

　　"I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".

　　教進(jìn)化論的老師已經(jīng)滔滔不絕地講了快兩個(gè)小時(shí)，他的話(huà)題又來(lái)了：“讓我向進(jìn)化論者提個(gè)問(wèn)題——如果我們?cè)��?jīng)像狒狒那樣長(zhǎng)著尾巴，那么現(xiàn)在尾巴到哪里去了?”

　　“我來(lái)試試看，”一位老太太說(shuō)。

　　“該是我們?cè)谶@里坐這么久把它們磨掉了吧。”