趣談男女有別
FUTURE 未來(lái)
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
女人直到找到丈夫前都在擔(dān)心未來(lái);男人直到找到妻子前從不擔(dān)心未來(lái)。
EATING OUT 在外面吃飯
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
買(mǎi)單的時(shí)候，阿麥，阿克、阿力和阿湯每人都甩出20塊錢(qián)，雖然其實(shí)一共只吃了32塊5。沒(méi)人有更小的票子了，也沒(méi)人愿意承認(rèn)他們其實(shí)想把票子破開(kāi)。女人買(mǎi)單時(shí)，每人掏出個(gè)計(jì)算器。
MONEY 錢(qián)
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
用得著的東西，要是值1塊錢(qián)卻賣(mài)2塊，男人也會(huì)買(mǎi);用不著的東西，要是值2塊錢(qián)卻只賣(mài)1塊，女人也會(huì)買(mǎi)。
BATHROOMS 浴室
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
男人浴室里五件寶：牙刷，刮胡膏，剃須刀，一塊肥皂，一塊毛巾。一般的女人浴室里平均有337樣?xùn)|西，其中的大多數(shù)，男人不知道那是干啥用的。
ARGUMENTS 爭(zhēng)論
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
任何爭(zhēng)論都是由女人來(lái)說(shuō)最后一句話。男人在此之后說(shuō)的任何話……都是開(kāi)始新的爭(zhēng)吵。
CATS 貓
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
女人喜歡貓。男人說(shuō)他們也喜歡，但當(dāng)女人看不到時(shí)，男人踢貓。
SUCCESS 成功
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
成功的男人是能掙比他太太花的更多的錢(qián);成功的女人是能找得到這么個(gè)給他錢(qián)花的男人。
MARRIAGE 婚姻
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change! And she does.
女人嫁給一個(gè)男人，希望他能改變，可他不;男人娶了一個(gè)女人，希望她永遠(yuǎn)不變，可她變了。
腦筋急轉(zhuǎn)彎
Questions:
1. Why are giraffes the cheapest to feed?為什么養(yǎng)長(zhǎng)頸鹿最不花錢(qián)?
2. Why are dogs afraid to sunbathe?狗為什么害怕日光浴?
3. Why is the pig always eating?豬為什么沒(méi)完沒(méi)了地吃?
4、Why are politicians no longer concerned with snowball fights?政客們?yōu)槭裁床辉訇P(guān)注打雪仗了?
5、Why don't women get bald as soon as men?為什么總是男人比女人先禿頭?
6、What can pierce one's ears without a hole?什么東西不用打洞就可以在耳朵上穿孔?
7. What's the longest word in the world?世界上最長(zhǎng)的單詞是什么?
8. Why does time fly?時(shí)間為何飛逝?
9. Where can a dog get another tail?狗去哪里可以再弄到一條尾巴?
Keys:
1. They make a little food go a long way.因?yàn)樗鼈儾弊娱L(zhǎng)，一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)食物都要走很長(zhǎng)的路才能咽下去。
2. They don't want to be hot-dog.因?yàn)樗鼈儾幌氤蔀闊峁贰?/p>
3. He's making a hog of himself.它想成為一只肉豬。
4、The cold war is over.冷戰(zhàn)結(jié)束了。
5、Because women wear hire longer.因?yàn)榕祟^發(fā)留得長(zhǎng)。
6、Noice.噪音。
7. Smiles. Because there's a mile between the letter 's'.微笑。因?yàn)閮蓚�(gè)字母S中間隔了一里。
8. To get away from all those who are trying to kill it.為的是甩掉所有要謀殺它的人。
9. At a retail store.在零售商店。